Friday, December 2, 2011

Mayo-NO-sse!

I've never had fried turkey either.  The concept disgusts me, but I think I understand why it would be good.  I'm not generally prone to frying things.  I like hot wings.  Those are generally fried, right?  I like French Fries, obviously, because I am a person.  I imagine there are other things, but frying kind of grosses me out.  I suppose that's lucky. 

A similar high-fat gross-out I have is mayonnaise.  I do not understand why people enjoy it.  Why would you want your sandwich to be wet?  It's like people are saying, "Well, this turkey and cheese would be delicious if it were just a little slimier. Sick.  I do respect mayo's ability to bind tuna/egg salads, when used sparingly.  Otherwise.  Blech.  It is super-annoying to me that I always have to request no mayo on things when I order them.  Shouldn't this be the norm?  And then people can request mayo if they like it?

Please invite me to Jeffsgiving.  It sounds delicious.  Almost as good as Tristansgiving.

Due to my library-induced lack of reading material, Cassie gave me one of my Christmas presents early today; Sweet Valley Confidential.  Presumably you have no idea what this is.  Well, when I was a kid, I read the Sweet Valley High series, which you have probably heard of, detailing the lives of two beautiful identical twins in Southern California.  There are hundreds and hundreds of books in this series, including sequel and prequel series of when they were in college, little kids, etc.  I guess they stopped publishing them in the early 2000's, long after I was reading them.  Anyway, this year, one new book was released, about the twins as grown-ups.  It takes place 10 years after the last book was written.  It is most certainly trash, and a very strange phenomenon, because it is still a young adult book, but is clearly written for people that are my age.  People who are nostalgic for the books/characters from their childhood.  I've started reading it, and am already delightedly horrified.  I am on page 7. Here is my favorite part so far:

"Coffee turned into a three-week miniaffair spread out over two months. She cried after every orgasm.  How embarrassing, but he pretended not to notice.  Russ was not a man to complicate a good thing with feelings."

I guess this pretty standard for trashy novels, but imagine that this is about someone you grew up knowing.  It's really unsettling.

I am guessing that I will one day get a Kindle, but I hard-core love how books look/feel/smell, and I think I would lose a lot of reading joy by holding a rectangle of plastic.  I do understand its merits though.  I really do. 

Sweet Valley Confidential would be good on Kindle, though, because then no one would know I was reading it.

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