Thursday, March 10, 2016

The System is Down

Congrats! You are now a homeowner! Condoowner? Homeowner. The condo is your home. Welcome home, homeowner. This is the part where I give you advice about owning a condo based on my experience as a condo-owner. Here's all I got: Don't buy a condo in 2006. You'll be stuck with it for much longer than you like. So, you nailed it.

Everyone always says that moving is one of the most stressful events in life. I'm sure it's partially because of all the paperwork and such (especially in the case of buying a place) but I think it's mostly because it breaks all of your systems. Your system for where you put your keys. Your system for storing your pots and pans. Your system for brushing your teeth. Your system for where you put your clothes. You've got to figure out all new ways to do all that shit that you haven't thought about since you moved in to your last place. It's like the operating system of your life got a brand new UI and you have to figure out where everything is again.

Or maybe that's just me.

Have you closed? Are you all moved in? If not, when do you get to move in? What are your favorite parts of your new condo?

I have not heard of these new brownie batter doughnuts from Dunkin' but they sound awful. I'm a boring doughnut person. Give me plain glazed and I'm good. When you start stuffing it with shit, I'm out.

I have some of those tapered sweatpants. I like them. However, I was very self-conscious about wearing them at first. Then I realized that everyone who might see me in them (I don't wear sweatpants outside the home often) already thinks I'm the kind of guy who can pull them off. So it's cool. They're comfy. I mean, they're sweatpants.

I think your assessment of Snapchat nails it. I fail to see why it's intriguing. However, maybe that is exactly the appeal. As soon as the kids see that the old folk don't see the point, they are immediately attracted because it can now be "theirs." Unlike Facebook (ugh) and Twitter (yay, kinda). Seriously, though. I haven't looked at Facebook in about a month. I don't miss it. Especially during elections. Right now, I only use it to post links to these posts and then I get the hell out before I'm tempted to read anything. I do have a Snapchat account, though. It's the only social media account where my username is not something that is derivative of my actual name. I don't know if I like it or am embarrassed by it.

Scarlett came into my office one time when I was playing Assassin's Creed. She asked what I was doing and why there was fighting. Not an easy thing to explain to a 3-year-old (obviously, this was a couple years ago). For some time after that she would ask me if I was going to "play the not very nice game" every time I went into my office. Since then she's seen [SPOILER ALERT FOR STAR WARS] Han Solo murdered by his son and she's yet to turn her toy light saber on me. [END SPOILER ALERT] But yeah, lots and lots of video games are based around murder. In Assassin's Creed I even got to murder the Pope once! The Pope!

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