Friday, February 26, 2016

Anything You Condo, I Condo Better

Doughnuts are the best food that I never eat.  Have you seen these new Dunkin' Donuts doughnuts?  They hurt my mouth and tummy just to think about them.  (I don't eat DD anyway - everything tastes like chemicals.)  They are FILLED WITH BROWNIE BATTER and COOKIE DOUGH AND SHIT AND WHYYYYYYYYYY.

Tapered sweatpants are the weirdest.  Fashion is so strange.  If someone had worn those three years ago, people would have been merciless.

No sugar in the valentines?  I would call that a rule.  I'm down with reducing the availability of added sugars in schools, what with childhood obesity and all, but at Valentine's Day?  It seems okay to me.  Did Scarlett get tons of bags of Cheez-its then?  What else is there?  Pretzels?  Stickers?  Seaweed chips?  Collector's cards with yoga poses on them?

Speaking of restricting children, I'd always thought it was kind of silly when parents wouldn't let their kids play certain video games, but Chris is playing Grand Theft Auto in the other room, and it's INSANE!  He just keeps murdering people for sport and picking up hookers and doing drugs, and it all seems pretty fun and consequence-free.  I mean, the game seems fairly tongue-in-cheek about everything, but perhaps the nuances of their social statements would be lost on kids?  

I do not use Snapchat, and when you asked, I thought, "Oh good - maybe Jeff can explain to me how it works and what it's used for."  Clearly not.  My understanding is that you make yourself have weird big eyes and mouths and then the post vanishes after a day or something.  I do not understand why this is intriguing to people.  Maybe that's just because I already have big weird eyes and a terrible short-term memory, so it just seems like the entire app was made to mock me.

I have not watched Jessica Jones - maybe I will!   Krysten Ritter was in Gilmore Girls too - don't forget that.  You know, from when you watched it all the time?

Chris and I put in an offer on a condo yesterday.  Buying a home is terrifying and horrible and I hate it so much.  I bet it's fun if you have money. I do enjoy seeing strangers' homes and judging their lives.  Yesterday we saw one that literally had a "Live Laugh Love" sign on the wall and I thought, "I could never live here."

***UPDATE*** The offer was accepted, and now my life has turned upside-down, which means this draft was sitting here for several days, just waiting for me to publish it.  I feel like this is the equivalent of when you're at a to-go restaurant, and you can see the counter person holding the food that you know is yours, and then they get distracted and start talking to your co-worker, and it's infuriating because all they have to do is say your name and reach out their arm.  It would be fine if they were taking longer in the actual assembling process, but now?  NOW?   Give me the damn Southwest Salad!  

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