Do people take five year breaks from things? We sure did.
We're back now.
What other things do people take five year breaks from? Eating carbs? Being a band? Cancer?
What's new? Since we haven't talked or corresponded since nearly five years ago, I feel like that's a pretty overwhelming question. I assume that you still live across from the now-embattled Mayor Emanuel. What about Fritz the Outdoor Cat? Do you still encounter him? Are you still dating that beer guy?
I still have a kid. I did not take a five year break from being a dad. I've taken a break from changing diapers, though. You know, because she learned how to poop in the potty. (I call it a potty now, deal with it.) Also, we moved into a house with a yard and I don't have to pick up my dog's poop as much as I used to. This has been my five year poop update.
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| Amount of poop Jeff has handled over time |
I have a new job. In fact, I've had two new jobs since we last wrote. The first new job was at the place I used to work before the place I worked at the time. Now I used to work there again. The second new job is at the place I currently work. A place I'd never worked at before.
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It's one of those cool places you read about and are all, "I'd love to work at a place like that." We build software and have a smart and charismatic CEO, no dress code, free fruit, a healthy disdain for bureaucracy, everyone gets an iPad (which I'm using to write/draw this), and a kegerator a few cubes away from my desk. Also, nearly everyone there is younger than me so I do my best to fill the cool-old-guy role versus the just-plain-old-guy role. It helps that young people are terrible at guessing ages. One co-worker found out it was my birthday and guessed I was 34. I thought she was being nice. She said it was her real guess and being nice is for suckers. Then she called me her "mentor." Did you know that you can feel young and old at the same time?
I'm completely incapable of learning how to pronounce the word "trebuchet." I've looked up the pronunciation, I've heard people say it, and I still never remember how to say it. I watched an episode of Mythbusters where they built one and they were saying it non-stop. As soon as the show was over I forgot how to pronounce it. Thankfully, it doesn't come up much.
I know you know what a trebuchet is, but I've included a drawing of one in case our readers are unfamiliar.
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I would argue that there is an inaccuracy to your "poop handled" graph. While the kid is using the shitter (I still call it a shitter, the kids teachers love me!), there still remains the matter of the dog. And though, the frequency with which you handle the poop has been reduced in proportion to the size of your newly acquired lawn, I would argue there is still a similar amount of poop to be handled. Therefore, I would conclude that you have handled way more poop since 2011 than your graph would indicate.
ReplyDeleteI think the graph is accurate. You'll notice that the amount of poop I handle now has not dropped to zero. If you were to look at a graph of my poop handling prior to 2011, it would look exactly like this graph only flipped along the y axis. If the time frame was expanded from the time we got the dog until now, it would look like a bell curve.
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