Boobs and Tubes

Notre Dame is doing better.  They are 2-2 now.  Their games are still mildly sad because they refuse to stop making stupid mistakes.  All the Notre Dame fans are freaking out because WE SHOULD BE 4-0!!!!  But we're not.  Deal with it, idiots.  We weren't winning a National Championship this year even if we did start out 4-0.  Sports fans are crazy.

You'll beat Scott, he's got that bad Minnesota Vikings mojo stink on him right now.  I don't know anything about either of your teams, but I'm certain you'll win.

I think stand-up is a lot like improv in that most of it is terrible and very similar but the best stuff is absolutely brilliant.  Okay, I'll stop blowing your mind now.

I have seen very few of the new shows.  In fact, I've only seen one.  Whitney.  I agree, it's awful.  It's so bad that even her comic friends on Twitter are turning on her.  Usually, comedians leave these kinds of things alone because they're all thinking, "That could be me.  In fact, I wish that was me."  Not this one.  It's so bad that I think they have no choice but to rip her apart.  Did you know that she also wrote and created Two Broke Girls?  That looks terrible, too.  I wish I was getting paid to write and star in two terrible television shows.  Instead, I'll blog for free.

I like Zooey Deschanel.  Maybe it's because I think she's cute but also because I like her quirkiness.  Also, when I see promos for that show I think, "They should have cast Tristan in this.  She would be much better than Zooey and she could pull off the quirky without it being too much."

Of course, Dee wants to watch Up All Night.  I like Will Arnett but I feel like I'll only like this show because we're going through the same thing right now.  Or I think that I'll probably hate the show because I'll be all, "That's bullshit.  That's not what really happens."

Did you mean Pan Am or is there another show exactly like it called TWA?  I've never seen Mad Men but I fully intend to catch up on it at some point in my life.  Everyone raves about it and everyone is never wrong -- except when they are Nazis.  However, I love the possibility that this conversation has happened recently:
"What are you doing now, Joe?"
"Oh, I'm playing a Pan Am pilot on the new Pan Am pilot."
*brain explodes*

I've heard The Playboy Club is awful.  I would have expected nothing less.  A show that can't show nudity that is based on a club based on a nudie magazine has absolutely no chance of survival.  If Playboy is in the title and there are no naked boobies, you will fail.

My new show tactic has been to wait to see which ones people say are good and catch up on them mid-way through the season or after the season.  The Internet makes it way easier to catch up later.  That way I don't waste my time on shit that I don't know is shit yet.  Also, I already watch too much TV.

Also, I feel like there are only about two new shows this season based on promos.  Whitney and Pan Am have been jammed in my face since the end of July.  Oh, and Suburgatory which I will reject based simply on its name -- and because they hired an Emma Stone faker as the lead.

I would watch a show that stars you called Solopoly.  Let's make that happen.

I pee my pants for Breaking Bad.  Fantastic.

An almond is a tree nut.  I assume they think they are covering it by adding "other" but it doesn't work that way.  If you have two almonds, you have an almond and another tree nut.