Breakfast Cake

My oatmeal is plain.  The only thing I add to it is honey which is why I'm so frustrated that the honey bottle is always sticky.  The honey bottle is shaped like a bear.  Today the bottle is so covered in honey that it feels like someone was trying to store honey on the outside of the bottle.  Anyway, plain oatmeal and honey.  That's my breakfast every morning.  I used to eat the flavored packets but I felt like there was too much artificial crap in them so I changed to enormous silos of Quaker Oats on which the label reads, "Ingredient." Singular.

Also, McDonald's oatmeal is a sham.  It's packed with so much shit to make it taste good that it's not good for you at all.  When fast food places offer "healthy" options they are usually not very healthy at all.  Fast food places should stick to fast food.  Human beings should use their brains and willpower and make some choices that won't turn them into fat, heart diseased slobs.

It is very strange that doughnuts are considered a breakfast food.  They are clearly dessert.  However, I've never stopped myself from eating a doughnut simply because it wasn't breakfast time.  I'll have a doughnut whenever I damn well please.  I'm an adult and this is America.  Still, I can't remember the last time I had a doughnut.

I feel like many breakfast foods would be better classified as desserts.  Pancakes, waffles, danish, coffee cake.  They are all stepchildren of desserts.  Do you remember the Bill Cosby bit about him feeding his kids chocolate cake for breakfast because it has all of the same ingredients as other breakfast foods?  It's funny and it speaks to the ridiculousness of our breakfast habits.  Also, remember when Bill Cosby was funny?

I don't think you need to wash your towel after every use.  I certainly don't do that with my towels at home.  However, you should definitely wash your sports bra after every use.  Anything you sweat in should be washed before using it again.  That's why Humpty Dumpty/The Milkman smells bad.  He doesn't wash his clothes.  The sweat dries and gets locked in and then the new sweat unlocks it and lets out a horrible odor that makes everyone want to puke.  It may be worse because he just stuffs them in his bag instead of hanging them, but still.  Wash your bra.  Do you kiss your mom with those boobs?

I've only had to move a couple times at my current company.  They do the orange crate thing, too.  I would very much like to move once more, though.  As I mentioned before, I currently share an office but there are two offices that have been sitting empty for some time.  I would very much like to move to one of those but I don't think it's going to happen.  They'd rather have empty offices than let me have one of my own.  They like me, but they don't like me, like me.