I am the Milkmaid

Maybe you should invest the $3 to get your own honeybear.  Then you won't have to honeyshare.  I used to get mad that everyone always drank the good flavors of tea out of the assortment.  Then I bought a box of 100 bags of Earl Gray.  Now I am always teahappy.  This is a little different, of course, because I do not begrudge people choosing the good tea - I would do the same.  Your honeymates are just sloppy.

Speaking of picking the good tea, aren't assortments weird?  I mean, they sort of make sense, but there's always one part that no one likes.  Take that one out, company!  Or do they leave the poopoo ones in because then they are forcing you to buy the gross kind that no one wants to buy alone?  Examples:  Yellow and Orange Starbursts are disgusting.  Pink and Red ones are delicious.  This is FACT.  Exaggerated fact, perhaps, but still fundamentally true.  STOP MAKING THE YELLOW ONES!  BLECH!  But they can probably keep making the yellow ones because people end up buying more bags of Starbursts to get the amount of red and pink succulence that they require.  Assortment example #2 would be the Hershey's minis.  No one ever wants the straight-up Hershey Bars.  Mr. Goodbar always goes first.  Then the Krackel, then the Special Dark.  The plain ones are useless.  Unless you find a teeny graham cracker and some mini marshmallows.

I have a feeling that your response to this will be, "Really?  Yellow Starbursts and Hershey Bars are my favorites!"  Because you are weird sometimes.

Well, I like to think that people should be better at making their own health choices too, but they are not.  I don't believe in regulating what people can eat, but I do believe there should be transparency in what is in those things.  Also, in our little town of Chicago, hundreds of thousands of people live in what qualifies as a food desert.  Meaning, fresh food is very hard to come by.  The school where Chris teaches is in a food desert, and those kids live on chips.  Like, literally, they pack a lunch, and it's a big bag of chips.  There are only convenience stores and fast food places that are walkable, and a lot of those families don't have cars.  So, I think it's nice when shitty places have less shitty options.  I think Rahm is working on making it easier to get grocery stores in depressed areas, though, so that's good.  Of course, you still have to educate people on health.  Obviously, even convenience stores must have better options than sending your kid to school with a bag of Doritos for lunch.

I've hadn't heard the Cosby bit about breakfast cake.  The man makes good sense.  Sometimes.

FINE.  I'll wash my bra.  God.

I walked by a new Edible Arrangements store today.  How are these things still around?  They're so dumb!  Are you familiar?  They make bouquets that look like flowers, but are fruit.  Then they charge you like 80 bucks for $4 worth of cantaloupe on toothpicks.  If anyone ever gave me one, I would slap them across the face with a skewered pineapple slice shaped like a daisy.

We used to have a ton of empty offices, but then they decided to lease out part of our space, so everyone got smooshed together.  This wouldn't be annoying, except there is a very small conference room across from my cube, so anyone visiting from another office or a home office or anything, goes in there.  And they leave the door open, and jabber on their phones, and ask me questions and use my trash can and look at me when I am putting on deodorant at my desk.  Normally the latter privilege is reserved for the people in the building across the street.