Super congrats on getting castle home. In real life I never say things like "super congrats." Thankfully, Internet life is nothing like real life. For example, there is no way I have 302 friends in real life. It's more like 12.
Whoa. You thought someone else was you? I don't even know if my brain could handle that. Thankfully, nothing like that has ever occurred to me. However, people at work often confuse me and the guy I share an office with. We don't look a lot alike, but if you don't know us we could easily be confused. He's a bit taller than me and a little skinnier but he has the same haircut and hair color and he is also graying (though not as much as me). He's also more intense than me, but you can't tell that by looking. That's my awesome and hilarious story about someone who doesn't really look like me but shares some similar attributes (and an office).
Pigeons are rats with wings. Anyone providing them with food might as well just pass out cholera instead. There's a guy who sits outside the convenience store every evening and he feeds the pigeons bread. He also wears a tattered wool cap with a feather stuck in it. He's also missing the lower half of his left leg and he spends his time highlighting every word in a book. He always says hello to me and never asks me for money so I give him a pass. I'm still really tempted to kick the hell out of a pigeon, though.
I love that they have to call it squab to be able to serve it in a restaurant. No one would eat anything labeled "pigeon" on a menu. I certainly would not. I would be more than happy to pay to see someone kill a pigeon and cook it. We share a disdain for pigeons. Mine seems rooted in violence, however.
Now that I have a daughter I suppose I should figure out the difference between pigtails and ponytails. Is there a difference? She has a lot of hair, she's going to want me to braid it and stuff. Am I going to have to learn how to do that one braid that is inverted? That seems really complicated.
I apologize for the lack of segue between the previous two paragraphs.
Ponytail is one bunch of hair that you struggle to gather together in a uniformed pattern and cram through a not-so-rubber band 14 times while your daughter screams and cries about you pulling her hair, and using the wrong color bow, and using the "ouchy" brush. Pigtails is 2 of those supposedly arranged in a symetrical fashion. If you figure out the inverted braid, I will call you Zohan!
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