Beer and Candybar Weapons

I feel like I have major gaps in my childhood stories/television/pop culture knowledge.  I missed a lot of those cultural milestones as a kid and I don't want the same thing to happen to my daughter.  I spent most of my childhood pretending that I knew what everyone else was talking about when I actually had no idea.  Actually, that's a pretty useful skill.  Maybe I'll just lock her in her room and jam all wireless signals.

Parenting plan complete!

I believe that Bug and Beetle is interchangeable when referring to the VW vehicle in question.  I believe Beetle is the official name but I'm not going to waste Internet looking it up.  I have noticed the vanity plate phenomenon with the Beetles.  They should all just read, "TRYINGTOOHARD."

I think I passed by you when I first walked in to the party.  You looked nice and summery in your green dress.

The bank teller hussy/vixen was cute.  Exotic.  Dark hair and olive skin so she could be Hispanic, Polynesian, Greek or just about anything at all.  Melting Pot, you know.  She seemed awfully chipper and confident so maybe she was too cute for her own good.  It probably wouldn't have worked out.

I guess I could understand some people using the dump buckets for beers they don't like.  Still, three ounces isn't that much to choke down.  I like beer, but I feel like I have a deficiency.  Everyone that really enjoys beer always seems to love IPAs.  I'm not a big fan.  I mean, I'll drink them if that's what's available but I'm not making that choice if there are options.  I like the Belgian Whites and the Tripels.  Those tend to also have high alcohol content, so more bang for your buck.  However, I feel like people regard those as wimpy lady beers.  Thankfully, I don't give a shit.  I'm past the point in my life where I'll choke down something I don't like because people say it's good.  Take that, other people's opinions.

I've not seen people wearing Toms.  Maybe I have but I just thought, "That guy is wearing ugly ass shoes" because I didn't recognize them as Toms.  I went to the website.  They look ridiculous.  Who cares if they are super comfortable.  Pajamas are super comfortable, but we all don't go around in our pajamas in public.  The world might be a kinder place if we did, though.

I just got out of a meeting where I told a story about a dude who sent me a candy bar through interoffice mail.  I'm sure you won't be surprised that this seemingly friendly gesture enraged me to the point where I wanted to walk to his office (which is halfway across the country) and beat him with said candy bar.