My Apologies, Ladies

Every sport would be very different if we kept growing.  Hell, everything would be very different.  Everything would have to be built to accomodate both the young (short) and old (tall).  Airplanes would be enormous.  Well, even enormouser.

I bet Libya and Afghanistan are dudes that his wife is banging (that has to be the most douchebaggy term for sex) but they just won't leave his house and he's not very good at proper punctuation.

We're sure Humpty Dumpty is an egg?  It's not explicit in the rhyme.  Maybe it's a riddle and that's the solution?  If so, why name an egg?  Why keep an egg on a wall?  Why would the king care?  Isn't there better use of taxpayer money than egg reconstruction?

You're gym is women only but it's not Curves?  I guess I thought Curves is the only one, but that probably just indicates some kind of latent male chauvinism I'm carrying around.  This is the part where I would try to guess the name of the gym, but I'm not going to do that.  I'd just come up with things like "Kim's Estrogen Hut" and "Ladies Only (Closed One Week a Month)" and "Lips" which would all be terribly offensive and not properly convey my respect for women.

I'm fascinated by New Boob Job, but not for the obvious reasons.  I've only known one person both pre- and post-boob job.  Everyone I know who has fake boobs got them before I met them with the exception of a high school friend of mine.  However, I didn't see her for about eight years and didn't really notice she had a boob job until she told me -- at her wedding, no less.  She then urged me to touch them.  I did not touch the bride's boobs.  Anyway, I'm curious to know what it is like to see someone go through that and to see them deal with it.

Some other people at my gym:
-Old Marine (he was probably never a Marine, but he seems angry like an old Marine would)
-Twinkletoes (he runs on his tippy toes when on the treadmill)
-The Shadow (she follows someone around and copies what they do)
-Leadfoot (the whole room shakes when he's on the treadmill)
-Master Yoga (he does Yoga by himself in the stretching area)
-Skip Dance (she skips and dances on the treadmill)
-America's Got Talent (she sings out loud to the music on her iPod)

I should also mention that my gym can only be used by the people that work in my building, so all of these people have jobs.

I call him Rusty Nails because his toenails look rusty.  All of them.  It's disgusting.  He needs to have them pulled and start over.