Lumberninja Battle

If I had to guess why babies poop so much, I'd say it's because of their tiny little tummies and intestines.  Also, the liquid diet.  Too bad I don't have the Internet handy to find out the correct answer.

C-section scars go across.  Dee's does, anyway.  I'm judging all C-section scars based the only one I've ever seen.  However, I'm sure you could request a vertical C-section so you could have the super badass lumberninja scar.  Or you could battle an actual lumberninja and emerge victorious but severely wounded.  You could have a very own "You should see the other guy" moment.

Are you certain that those signs were referring to the U.S. military presence in those countries?  Maybe he just thinks those countries are uninhabitable and that everyone that is currently there should leave.  I often wonder about people who still hold signs in the street that aren't part of some larger demonstration.  Wouldn't it be way more efficient to open a Twitter account?  That shit is free.

There's a dude that works out in my gym who I refer to as Humpty Dumpty.  This is because he looks like what I imagine a real-life Humpty Dumpty would look like.  He also smells like sour milk and stinks up the whole gym when he's there.  One of my co-workers calls him The Milkman because of the sour milk stench, but I stick to Humpty Dumpty because I imagine that Humpty Dumpty would begin to smell much like sour milk after several hours of the King's horses and men trying to put him back together.  Mine works on two levels.  Also, I feel like letting the horses help put Humpty Dumpty back together was their first mistake.  Wouldn't they just crush him into more pieces?

There's also a guy in my gym I call Rusty Nails.  I'll let you guess why.