The Civil War Vacation

Getting a good squirt from a boob is trickier than you might think.  It's easiest when they are at their fullest.  Also, you probably won't be very accurate.  Just some tips for the future, though I'm not the expert.  You may want to talk to Dee.

My family vacations rarely consisted of things that most people thought of as fun.  I went to Disney World as a kid but mostly we went to old Civil War battlegrounds.  I loved the Civil War as a kid -- mostly because  our encyclopedia had detailed pictures of the uniforms of the Union and Confederate soldiers and I loved those uniforms.  I wanted one for myself.  Unfortunately, they didn't sell them at the Gettysburg gift shop.  We once went to Battle Creek, Michigan.  This was not an old Civil War site.  It is the home to the Kellogg and Post cereal companies.  We toured the factories.  I'm not sure if it was the same trip but we also went to Dearborn, Michigan to tour Henry Ford's home (no relation) and factories and such.  Did you know that he and Thomas Edison were huge dicks?  Most of their hatred was focused towards Nikola Tesla.  And Jews.  Henry Ford hated the Jews (thank god he's no relation).

Anyway, I don't remember ever going to a beach for vacation.  Not that I cared.  I'm not a big fan of sun and sand.  Plus, I was scared of water as a kid.

Unpacking is a pain in the ass.  It's never fun even if you share an unpacking philosophy.  I'm like Chris.  I just want to get shit unpacked and get the boxes out of the house.  Unfortunately, it usually means that things never really find the right place and I'm constantly sorting things out later.  I think that's better than digging through boxes when you need stuff, though.

The Blue Line sucks when you have to get on at Division.  It's almost always full because everyone gets on at Damen.  However, I loved that my door-to-door commute was 15 minutes max.  Now, it's 40 minutes door-to-door.  The Brown Line is definitely the limousine of the CTA.  The air conditioning always works, it's clean(er) and there are very few bums.  The Red Line (which I take now) is so heavily used that it's never very clean and always crowded.  I also feel like the air conditioning has been broken way too often this summer.  I'm a sweater (as in one who sweats).  It's gross.

My colorblind grandfather was also a Shriner.  He didn't ride the little motorcycles or drive the fez, but he hated black people and Catholics so he met all the major requirements.

You can meet Scarlett any time you like.  Our house is always open to you.  We'll even let you change a diaper.  However, you'll need to come before 7 PM because that's when we start the whole bedtime routine. There's hell to pay if we wreck the schedule.