Itchy Bear

I was thinking of a peepee dick-squirt, not a spermy dick-squirt.  Squirt.

 

Popping a tire on a space shuttle doesn't sound bad at all.  I feel like that would be passing.  Who gives a shit?  It's a tire.  Make a swing out of it.  Or put a baby in there.  I just googled "Michelin Baby" to make sure that there were indeed ads for Michelin with a baby sitting in/by a tire.  I came across a startling slew of babies with rolls of fat that look like stacked tires.  Gross.  And a couple ads for Michelin with a baby sitting by a tire.

 

I think it's funny that you hate baseball.  I love it.  I mean, I don't really watch it on TV, but I love going to ball games, grabbing a beer and a hot dog and keeping score.  I will be going to my first Bears (and indeed, professional football) game this year.  I'm excited!  Though, I feel like while baseball games are better in person, football games will be better on TV because you're so far away, and there's so much stopping.  Is basketball ever interesting to watch?  Maybe just when it's the Globetrotters?

 

Good idea about the spare bag for peanut shells.  Maybe they are worried people will use it as a toy for their babies.  From what I read on bags, this is a very tempting option for parents.  Now that you find a baby under your direct supervision, I gather that you must be constantly enticed to give Scarlett old bags to play with, yes?

 

I've never been to Five Guys.  Isn't it just, like, some burgers?  Sell me on it. 

 

I had physical therapy again today.  It's so fun!  I like all the weird little activities.  It's like when I was little and had to take all these intelligence tests by playing little games while a man watched.  It was so fun, and way less creepy than it sounds.   I think my parents were checking if I was a genius or something.  I forget.  (Which leads me to believe I wasn't...)  All I remember is that the man was really impressed that I just naturally knew that his right hand wasn't the one directly across from mine when he faced me.  Actually, I also remember that my parents and I went out for Strawberry Shortcake afterward.

 

Anyway, so far my favorite PT activities include:

- Itchy Bear (standing against a wall with a ball behind my back and doing squats

- Apolo Anton Ohno (taking wide swooping steps with a resist-a-band around my ankles)

- Molasses Crab (sideways squat-walking with banded ankles)

- Alpha-Log (standing with one foot on a foam half-tube, rolly-side-down, and spelling out the alphabet in huge letters with my other foot.

 

Why do you want to watch sports in HD?  I'm not being coy - I'm really just curious.  Is it so you can see the guys' numbers better?  Determine more easily whether they are playing on Astro-turf or real grass?  Or just so that it's more like you're actually there, perhaps?

 

I rarely put much thought into appreciating being a primate until my opposable thumbs were compromised the other day.  Tying my shoe is particularly cumbersome.  I wore a skirt today exclusively because it's such a pain to button up my pants.  I don't know what I would do if I had cut (or *gasp* broken) both thumbs.  As it is now, Cassie laughed (albeit compassionately) at me yesterday for looking like a raccoon when I tried to pick up my big Nalgene bottle with my injured hand, and ended up having to use both of them.  (Beside the difficulty in bending, it is just extremely painful to put much pressure on it.  This was some cut!)

 

Tomatoes are indeed assholes.  Their composition is too precarious and varied to be hospitable to most cutting.  But, tomato assholes, like real assholes, (the behavioral kind, not the anus kind) just require the right tools deal with them.  With anus assholes, it's a thick skin and a biting wit.  With tomato assholes, it's just a really expensive (and sharp) knife.  I bought Chris a nearly $200 knife for Christmas this past year.  That motherfucker dices the shit out of some tomatoes.  It had better...